Drop the mic!

Hello, I’m Marcos, and I have a very deep voice.

I’m forced to project my voice on a daily basis or it seems like mumbling – Mmm Mmm -, and no one understands what I’m saying.

Do you understand me?

“Keep your voice down, or you’ll wake the kids up!”, my wife constantly says.

But I was speaking quietly…

“Are you upset? It seems like you are with that tone of voice”, say my older kids.

But I’m not angry…

“Don’t shout at people, Marcos”, says my mother.

BUT I WASN’T SCREAMING!

Even those who know me well forget that I really have to project my voice and that I don’t even realize I’m doing it. I have to talk loud because my voice is low. Ironic, right?

When I was young I took piano and singing lessons. I thought I could be a musician. One of my idols was Brad Roberts, the lead singer of Crash Test Dummies. Remember Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm? Damn! Brad Roberts has a very deep voice and can sing so well. He was my hero.

In music classes, my teacher introduced me to other students as if I were a circus wonder! “He sings the ‘pig’s D’! It’s very rare for someone to be able to sing in such a low tone.”

The pig’s D, the teacher explained, is the D almost two octaves below the middle C on a piano. I don’t think it’s actually an offical solfeggio concept. But he called it that way. Others may consider it a low tone guttural vocal tone. Some singers migt name it Death Growl. I confess I like the softer and melodic precision of calling it… Pig’s D.

It’s a low D, I tell you! I used this ability to tune my guitars. All I had to do was chant a tone above the lowest note I could sing, my dear Pig’s D, and I would tune the low E string of the guitar, and the rest from there.

The Pig’s D is my Voice of God, when necessary. And I’m so sorry for putting the two concepts in the same sentence. Well, God forgives. And I can even reach the C sharp below the Pig’s D, half a step lower…

Another advantage of the Pig’s E is that I’m the baby charmer at home. My wife always asks me to put our 9-month-old baby to sleep because I do it faster. That happens because I sing a lullaby with my very low tone. My whole chest resonates. And that, I conclude, also helps the baby I’m holding to lull himself to sleep.

Hi, I’m Marcos, a VA from Portugal. If Artificial Intelligence takes my job away – I hope not -, you can always count on me to put your babies to sleep. I promise not to project my voice at that time. I just mumble a lullaby whose lyrics the babies wouldn’t understand either way. For you, my dear auditive sensitive grown people, it sounds like Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm…